A year ago today I was still pregnant and hoping we would see our little one's heartbeat at the next appointment. It started as such an ordinary day but ended as one that shall forever be burned into my mind.
We went to visit my mom as we normally do on the weekends and enjoyed seeing her and our little nephew Jaymes. I remember thinking Wow around this time next year we will have a 4 month old, how crazy and exciting.
Shortly after we got home I had a little bit of spotting, obviously I was concerned but was just hoping it was b/c of my OB appt 2 days prior or just some post sex spotting. Then came the horrible painful cramps, I figured we should go to the ER just to be safe. I texted my mom and my best friend letting them know what was going on. At this point I was still hopeful.
Shortly after we arrived at the ER the spotting turned to heavy clots and I was sure that it was over. They ordered an u/s which we had to wait for a few hours for seeing how the ultrasound tech wasn't there at that time. They found our babe and said no heatbeat still and things weren't looking good and to see my OB first thing monday morning.
By monday the clots tapered off and my OB wouldn't see me for another week and a half(my next scheduled appt). So for the next week and a half we waited to see what would happen. When we came in we found out that my body had expeled everything on its own and my pregnancy was over and my beta levels had dropped fairly low(high enough to produce just a faint line on the pregnancy test),and the Dr. said nothing more needed to be done and that everything would take care of itself.Obviously my OB was horrible and I switched OB's after this.
It's bizarre that its already been a year, sometimes it seems longer ago and other days it feels so fresh still. I still miss that baby but it gives me hope that one day we will have our sticky baby and I can at least take some comfort in the fact that I have been able to get pregnant. I have so much faith that our turn will be here one day, I just don't know when.
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3 comments:
I'm so sorry :( I know that year seems so slow and so fast at the same time. I hope you get some good news soon... ((HUGS))
I'm so so sorry, these milestones are sooooo hard =(
((((Hugs)))
Big hugs sweetie!
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